Finding out your partner has been lying to you is a betrayal and very traumatic! There are two ways people find out their partner has been hiding something. Either they catch them, or they confess. Both of those are terribly hard to deal with and some aspects of these disclosures can make things even more traumatizing. Either way you find out, more talking and processing will obviously need to be done. Unfortunately, even when they confess, there is often more that you will find out over time. Each time you find out more can equally devastating. In this video, I will talk you through this process and help with some ways to start moving past the disclosure and into healing.
Our partners cheating on us or keeping a serious secrets literally can cause us trauma. I refer to this kind of trauma as betrayal trauma. Betrayal trauma can bring on PTSD symptoms like loss of interest, down mood, depression, negative thoughts, anxiety, difficult sleeping, reliving the event or disclosure, hyper vigilance, anger, self doubt and sometimes thoughts of self harm or suicide. I say these not to scare you, but to tell you that you are not only, nor crazy if you have experienced these symptoms after your partners confession. Many people experience this and don’t know how to get through it. They wonder why they can’t forgive their partner and move on. They wonder if they will every be able to . They wonder if there is something wrong with them. All of these are normal (and awful) parts of Betrayal Trauma that can be worked through.
I am here to support you through this. If you have questions or need some support, please reach out to me. Betrayal trauma is not something you can or should have to got through alone!